Joy in the Built-In Warning System of Pain
I’ve been more in touch with my feelings lately and enjoying greater awareness of my body’s built-in warning system that serves to keep me on course. I’ve noticed that when I’m doing things that are in alignment with who I am and what’s important to me, I feel mentally, physically and emotionally fantastic. When I’m out of synch with what’s important to me, on the other hand, I feel that, also, but it’s usually in a much different way.
Last week, I did something that my conscious mind told me could be fine, but that my gut suspected might go against who I am at this point in my life. It wasn’t anything huge, and I was able to rationalize that I could make this event anything I wanted it to be. Deep within me, though, I was apprehensive. My subconscious sent up little smoke signals to get my attention, begging me to call off what I was about to do. I ignored them and went through with it anyway. Two hours after doing said thing, I developed a horrendous migraine and my body began shutting down in a bizarre way. Why? I believe it’s because I was acting in conflict with my true nature. Therefore, as a way of expressing the inner conflict, my gut turned its apprehensions into a physical manifestation to let me know in no uncertain terms that I’d crossed a line.
Yet again, a few days later, I was heading into a situation that my instincts told me was not in alignment with who I am, but that I was obligated to carry out for professional reasons. True to form, because I could not avoid the situation and would have to go through with it, my body did the only thing it knew how. It tried to get my attention and potentially protect me by rebelling via migraine.
In the first example, my body’s insurgence came after the fact, as if to remind me that when I go against what my gut’s saying, I can’t avoid the repercussions. In the second example, my gut instincts turned into fierce physical resistance beforehand, urging me to be on high alert for what was to come and possibly trying to save me from it altogether (after all, if I’m too sick to attend something that’s not in my highest good, maybe I won’t have to deal with it ever!).
Those two examples have driven home something that I only just started embracing in the past few years: ultimately, I can’t deny my true nature. Who I am - my goals and what I believe in - will always be what feels “right” to me, and everything else will somehow erode my person, be it mentally, emotionally or physically. On top of that, my gut instinct serves as a situational guru, of sorts, warning me when I’m about to veer off-course or head into murky waters.
I wrote about this from a difference perspective last Fall. My discovery in Joy in (and Gratitude for) Migraines included realizing that my migraines serve me, so rather than reject them I need to rejoice in what they offer. In Joy in Seeing a Purpose in Pain, I discussed the need to investigate, rather than mask, pain because, again, it always has a message for us.
While very few people enjoy pain in and of itself, the role it plays in our lives as messenger and protector is something to be honored. I’m certainly learning to honor - and find joy - in mine.
2 comments July 14, 2008
Forgive me for posting yet another recipe, but two things: I’m traveling and didn’t get a chance to put to paper some thoughts I wanted to share on relationships and conflict resolution, and I really love healthy recipes and was going to share this eventually anyway. 
Delicious foods make me happy. I’m also a big fan of trying to keep things low-fat and full of fiber. That’s why I crafted this low-fat, high-fiber, incredibly tasty chocolate chip cookie recipe from a traditional Toll House recipe. It only makes five or six cookies at a time, so if you’re in the mood for something great but don’t want the temptation of extra cookies lying around, give it a try.
