It’s all about joy!

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to properly share the stories of my life without speaking ill of anyone I’ve been involved in negative situations with. There seems to be a very fine line between expressing my truth (what happened from my perspective) and protecting another person’s integrity. Complicating things further is making sure I’m not dismissing or making excuses for someone else’s bad behavior, and also making sure I hold myself accountable for everything I contributed to the situation.

My thinking has been fueled by recent get-togethers with friends I haven’t seen in awhile. In catching up with them, I tend to share the totality of what’s been happening in my life - the good, the bad, and everything in between. In some cases, I’m asked direct questions about people I’ve had a rocky history with. It’s those instances that have me torn. Do I skip over the parts of my life experience that are negative and omit them from my storytelling? Or do I share what happened to the best of my ability - knowing it’s all from my perspective - and look for a way to preserve the character of the other person? How much detail I share plays a part. I’ve learned that less is more. No one needs to know everything that was said, or every behavior that played out. Giving the cliff note version seems more respectful somehow.

But we learn by sharing, and we form connections by sharing. There must be a balance, though, between sharing ourselves with others and maintaining “right speech.” More and more I’m striving to keep everything I say impeccable. That means when I open my mouth, I want the ideas that flow forth to come from love, joy, positivity and respect. Anything else leeches energy from the Universe and serves to attract a similar energy back to me, and I won’t stand for it.

I’m not sure what the best answer is (it feels like it will be a shade of gray!), but it’s something I’m very interested in. On top of that, it’s something that, as I continue to unravel and unwrap it, I’m certain will bring me great joy.

Irony of ironies: on Saturday, June 21, 2008 I spent a marvelous day in San Francisco with someone who moves me like no one else ever has. On that same day, my college boyfriend - the only person I’ve ever been in a relationship with who I thought I wanted to marry - got hitched 1.4 miles from where I was staying.

What are the chances we’d be in the same city, let alone practically the same neighborhood, on his wedding day? (Especially considering we live an entire country apart and don’t talk anymore!)

I’ll tell you what the chances are - pretty freakin’ good, based on my experience with the Universe (although even this seems a little preposterous, as far as cosmic jokes are concerned).

Honestly, when I found out this past weekend, it bothered me. I wasn’t upset because of how close we were, proximity wise, to each other (although that really is a head scratcher!), but more so because, well, I guess I wanted to be first.

Egos can be funny things like that, as anyone reading Eckhart Tolle’s book, “A New Earth” can attest.

Strange sensation, but nonetheless real…

So, since I feel like laughing about this, if anyone has any similar stories related to exes they can share, which take the proverbial (wedding) cake, so to speak, I’d appreciate hearing from you! The more outlandish your story, the better.

In the meantime, I wish the two of them all the joy and luck this world has to offer. There is nothing greater than love, and for them to find each other gives those of us still looking beautiful hope.

Most of my friends and family know that I have an impossible crush on a guy who lives in California. We met in the most unexpected of ways and through a funny twist of fate, have actually had occasion to see each other a handful of times over the last three months. Unfortunately, this guy is just not available. He’s as emotionally inaccessible as he is locationally so (we live 3,000 miles apart). Since I’ve stopped taking on “special projects” in the dating department, I’ve resigned myself to the idea that this guy and I can probably only ever be friends.

*sigh*

Despite how much I love looking into his brilliant blue eyes or listening to the soothing tone of his voice as he speaks, I’m actually rather OK with the fact that the two of us can’t be together. Better still, when I saw him this past Saturday and we spent the day with each other, I had a magnificent realization: perhaps it’s not him I’m so drawn to (bear with me here…). Perhaps it’s the way I feel when I’m around him that has me captivated.

On Saturday, the two of us spent an effortless twelve hours together. We laughed, we talked, we debated, we hugged, I cried, he meditated, we ate, we learned, we walked (and walked and walked!), we sat, we laid (down)…we lived like we’d known each other for decades, and I loved every single second of it! When with him, I feel completely at ease - more at ease than I’ve ever felt around anybody in my life. And that’s when it hit me: maybe what I’m looking for in a partner isn’t so much him as it is the feeling I get when I’m around him. That feeling that I can be completely myself and feel totally accepted. His energy, his aura…his way of sharing space with other humans is so perfectly respectful that I couldn’t imagine anyone feeling uncomfortable around him. He’s all but made an art of it, and that’s what I want to experience every day for the rest of my life.

So what can I do with all that, you might ask? Since I believe in the law of attraction and the magic of manifestation, I’m going to take that feeling and combine it with visualization exercises. I’m going to remember how I feel when I’m around him really stay in that good feeling space. I’m then going to imagine that I feel like that every day, and that the feeling comes from spending time with my most perfect life partner. I’ve learned through experience that when I get into a feeling space as I visualize, the things I desire manifest much more quickly. (Yes, I’ll keep actively dating, too, because otherwise I’d just be visualizing by myself in my living room! Remember that the law of attraction requires us to take action. There’s a great interview with James Arthur Ray that offers some vignettes on how to make the law of attraction work in your favor every single time. Check it out here.)

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with some lyrics from a favorite song of mine (and perhaps, one of my partner’s, too):

Paperweight (Joshua Radin & Schuyler Frisk)

been up all night staring at you

wondering what’s on your mind

i’ve been this way with so many before

but this feels like the first time

you want the sunrise to go back to bed

i want to make you laugh

mess up my bed with me

kick off the covers i’m waiting

every word you say i think

i should write down

don’t want to forget come daylight

happy to lay here

just happy to be here

i’m happy to know you

play me a song

your newest one

please leave your taste on my tongue

paperweight on my back

cover me like a blanket

mess up my bed with me

kick off the covers i’m waiting

every word you say i think

i should write down

don’t want to forget come daylight

and no need to worry

that’s wastin’ time

and no need to wonder

what’s been on my mind

it’s you

it’s you

it’s you

every word you say i think

i should write down

don’t want to forget come daylight

and i give up

i let you win